"Everything is as it should be."

                                                                                  - Benjamin Purcell Morris

 

 

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Godzilla: Actor, Artist, Icon, Legend

Godzilla's debut.

Godzilla's debut.

What follows are excerpts from my soon to be published biography of Godzilla titled "Godzilla: Actor, Artist, Icon, Legend" Copyright 2014. All Rights Reserved.

FROM HIROSHIMA TO HOLLYWOOD

In 1951, Marlon Brando burst upon the acting world like a nuclear bomb as Stanley Kuwalski in the film adaptation of  Tennessee William's "A Streetcar Named Desire". His power, magnetism and charisma would change acting forever.

Two years later and half a world away, the U.S.S. Fatty Arbuckle was dropping sonar buoys deep in the Pacific. As a treat to the beleaguered and homesick sailors, the commanding officer had obtained a copy of "Streetcar" and showed it on the ships deck for some much deserved R & R. In the dark of that Pacific night, the sailors weren't the only one's watching Brando's masterful performance. Floating upon the ocean's surface, with just his eyes and ears above the waterline, was someone else who would become not just mesmerized, but inspired, by Brando's performance. This young viewer, floating alone in the dark depths of the Pacific, decided to change his life. At that exact moment, he made the greatest decision someone can ever make…to become an actor. That decision didn't only change his life…it changed the world. 

That aspiring actor set off for Tokyo the next day. By simply taking that first step, he set forth the hands of fate, and destiny greeted him at Tokyo's shores. He was literally discovered the following week in Tokyo Bay and secured an audition for Toho Films, the biggest and best movie studio in all of Japan. The rest is history. That young actor's name was Godzilla, and the film in which he was cast as the lead was "Gojira", and it would make him one of the biggest stars that Japan has ever seen.

Godzilla was brought into this world in egg form in 1945 off the coast of Hiroshima, Japan. While still in the egg stage of his development, the U.S. dropped an atomic bomb upon his hometown, killing hundreds of thousands of innocent people, and genetically altering Godzilla in his development. Three weeks later he burst from his egg, larger than normal, and he grew up in the nuclear fall out of that horrific attack. It changed him on every level. At the tender young age of six months, he left the coast of Japan and went deep into the Pacific, to find himself, to find his life, to find his destiny. He found it on the black and white images dancing upon the silver screen on the deck of the U.S.S. Fatty Arbuckle.

Brando in "Streetcar"

Brando in "Streetcar"

Brando was the inspiration for Godzilla, and the two would forever be linked, in their careers and their lives, becoming artistic admirers, neighbors, confidantes and longtime friends.

In 1954, "Gojiro" was released in Japan and became an instant classic and made Godzilla into a superstar overnight, earning him his first Japanese Academy Award for Best Kaiju. That same year, Brando won his first Best Actor Oscar with his performance in "On the Waterfront", cementing his place atop the acting world. 

In 1955, Godzilla would star in "Godzilla Raids Again", for which he would win his second Best Kaiju award in as many years, becoming the first actor to ever win the award in back-to-back years. He was now the toast of all Japan, and along with fellow Japanese acting great Toshiro Mifune, ushered in a golden era of Japanese acting. Mifune and Godzilla were the biggest stars in all of Japan, and would become the fiercest of rivals, to the point where Mifune once bitterly said of Godzilla, "He is not my rival, he is my enemy".

In 1956, "Gojira" was re-cut for American audiences and released in the U.S. under the title "Godzilla: King of All Monsters". While Godzilla disliked the re-edit, and despised his re-edtited Canadian co-star Raymond Burr, he didn't dislike the results of a U.S. release. Godzilla went from being the biggest movie star in Japan, to being one of the biggest stars in the world, a crossover success which eluded Mifune, much to Godzilla's delight.

Brando in "The Teahouse for the August Moon", and yes…he is wearing 'Yellow face'…and yes…it was and is a really racist thing to do.

Brando in "The Teahouse for the August Moon", and yes…he is wearing 'Yellow face'…and yes…it was and is a really racist thing to do.

1956 would also be the first time that Godzilla and his idol, Brando, met. Marlon Brando came to Japan to shoot "The Teahouse of the August Moon". Brando was first introduced to Godzilla at a party thrown by his 'Teahouse' co-star Machiko Kyo, who also happened to be one of a myriad of women dating Godzilla at the time. Godzilla was nervous upon meeting his idol and also wary that the infamously womanizing Brando might be after his sometime girlfriend Machiko, but after a few cocktails both men loosened up and a friendship was born. That night Brando goaded Godzilla into pulling a drunken prank on the Tokyo rail system. Brando watched with glee as the drunken Godzilla performed a wild dance and crushed all the rail lines leading into the city. Godzilla destroyed nearly $50 million worth of infrastructure that night, but he built a friendship with Brando that lasted lifetime.

Brando and Godzilla became such close friends that Brando decided to accept a role in the film "Sayonara"  which shot in Japan in 1957. Brando stayed with Godzilla at his newly built "Monster Island" compound for the entirety of the shoot. Their parties were legendary, as both actors became well known for their late night shenanigans. They tore through the ladies and the country's infrastructure with equal fervor and passion. As the true renaissance actors that they were, they also spent as much time discussing art, acting, philosophy and religion as they did chasing women and destroying power plants.

In the following decade, Brando would buy his own island in Tahiti, becoming one of Godzilla's neighbors. Brando also, ironically enough, became godfather to Godzilla's son Minilla. This was the first, but not the last time Brando would be called "Godfather". In 1971, Brando also famously paid tribute to his friend Godzilla with his death scene in "Godfather", imitating his Japanese friend as a show of respect.


FEUDS

Kong…a star is born.

Kong…a star is born.

King Kong

In 1961 Godzilla hadn't been in a film in nearly six years. He had spent his time off enjoying his celebrity, including the women and wealth that came with it, and spending that enormous wealth building his "Monster Island" home. Toho studios approached Godzilla that year with an idea. They wanted to make another Godzilla film, but this time they wanted to change things up, this time they wanted Godzilla to have a co-star.

King Kong was Hollywood royalty. In 1933 he made his film debut in the movie aptly titled "King Kong", which became an instant classic around the world. He won a Best Monster Oscar for his performance. It was followed later that year with "The Son of King Kong", which while less successful and critically acclaimed as Kong's first film, still was a financial success. 

Much like his Japanese counterpart Godzilla, Kong had grown up in the South Pacific on a remote island, in Kong's case, the mysterious Skull Island. He was plucked from obscurity and became one of the biggest and richest stars in the world. Also like Godzilla, Kong hadn't worked in a while, but Kong's absence hadn't been for a mere six years, Kong hadn't shot a film in nearly thirty years. During that thirty year absence he had managed at first to stay in the spotlight through his tumultuous and public relationship with his "King Kong" co-star, Fay Wray. Once that relationship ended, and ended badly, Kong retreated to his upstate New York mansion and faded from public view and memory.

By 1961, Kong was in deep financial trouble. Thirty years of unemployment and a love of horse racing will do that. After failing to stir any interest from Hollywood, Kong's agent reached out to Toho as a last resort to try and find work. Toho saw the opportunity to cash in on Kong and to get him for cheap, but they needed to be careful. Godzilla was the biggest star they had, and he was notoriously fickle and did not like being disrespected. Toho approached Godzilla about the idea of making a Godzilla and King Kong buddy comedy film, maybe a road picture in the style of the Bob Hope-Bing Crosby films. Not surprisingly, Godzilla was not happy with the idea, showing his displeasure by sinking three large cargo ships off the Japanese coast.

Toho changed it's approach, tapping into Godzilla's anger and vanity, and using it to their advantage. They made the pitch that the film would no longer be a buddy comedy, but rather, a fight between the two of them. They also pointed out that it would be "Godzilla vs. King Kong", not "King Kong vs. Godzilla" as Kong had wanted. This intrigued Godzilla, for he longed to have someone or something worthy to match up against, as opposed to the Japanese civil defense troops, which he felt were beneath his dignity to fight. The final push that sealed the deal for Godzilla was when Toho pointed out that Godzilla wasn't going to New York to shoot a King Kong movie, but rather King Kong was coming east, to Japan, to shoot a Godzilla movie, that and the fact that they guaranteed Godzilla twice the pay rate of Kong and 50% of the profits on the back end. Godzilla was on board and Kong was heading to Japan and the fireworks were soon to follow.

The first meeting between the legendary actors was at a table read of the script held on Kaiju Island just one week prior to shooting. Godzilla knew everyone at the reading pretty well, having been part of the Toho family for seven years at this point, Kong on the other hand, knew no one. Kong's social anxiety was well known in movie making circles, and in fact had been a major reason for his unemployment over the last thirty years. He often over compensated for his anxiety by acting overly aggressive, and his first Toho script reading was no exception. Kong entered the valley, set up as a makeshift reading room, with a scowl on his face and immediately sat in a corner brooding. Godzilla, usually in a bad mood, was actually on his best behavior and feeling good, so he went over to introduce himself and say hello to Kong.

The legends meet.

The legends meet.

Godzilla  put out his short arm to shake Kong's hand and said, "Welcome to Japan, Kong". Kong stood up and grabbed Godzilla's hand and simply said, "You can call me King". A shudder went through the production staff, everyone there knew this was not going to go well. Godzilla smiled and looked Kong right in the eye and said, "You can call me God". After some intense chest thumping, some roaring and some giant boulder throwing, the reading was called off. The producers wanted the actors to "save it" for when the cameras were rolling. So they parted and refused to speak to or acknowledge one another for the entirety of the shoot.

The relationship was so contentious that the producers had to shoot multiple endings in order to appease each star. When the film finally came out, the Japanese version ended with Godzilla defeating Kong, but the American version had Kong defeating Godzilla. This infuriated Godzilla, who felt it was a display of obvious anti-Asian racism, so he threatened to destroy Tokyo, Kyoto and Toho studios itself in his ensuing rampage if the U.S. version was released. Toho execs were forced to concede to Godzilla an even bigger portion of the profits of the film in order to save their studio. Godzilla may not have liked how the U.S. version ended, but, racism be damned, he certainly liked making nearly ten times as much as King Kong. As Godzilla once said to a reporter, "Kong may win in the American version, but I am winning in life."

Kong would go on to make more films with Toho, but never with Godzilla. Their feud would go on for decades, and while they never liked each other, they did eventually develop a grudging respect for one another.

Toshiro Mifune

Toshiro Mifune contemplating Godzilla's acting ability.

Toshiro Mifune contemplating Godzilla's acting ability.

In 1950, Toshiro Mifune, a relative unknown in the Japanese film industry, burst onto the scene in a supporting role in Akira Kurosawa's "Rashomon". The performance was so electric that he quickly became the 'Marlon Brando' of Japanese acting.

Four years later in 1954, Godzilla had his breakout success in "Gojira", and was thrust into the same category as Mifune, that of the great Japanese actors. 1954 was also a great year for Mifune, for he starred in Kurosawa's masterpiece "Seven Samurai". His performance was spectacular and earned him numerous accolades and awards, including the Japanese Academy Award for Best Actor. Yet, even with his great success and critical acclaim, Mifune was being overshadowed by Godzilla, and he did not understand it, or like it.

Godzilla on the other hand, didn't like the little attention Mifune did get, and thought that he, Godzilla, should have won Best Actor, instead of Best Kaiju. Without anywhere to place the blame for this perceived snub, Godzilla turned his resentment toward Mifune.

The two met for the first time at a party thrown by a mutual friend, the brilliant actor Takashi Shimura. Shimura had worked with Mifune on both "Rashomon" and "Seven Samurai" and the two had become close friends and deeply respected and admired each others work. Shimura had also starred alongside Godzilla in his debut "Gojira". Shimura felt an instant fondness for Godzilla, and took him under his wing and helped him a great deal with the ins and outs of film acting during the shoot. Godzilla once said of Shimura, "Shimura taught me the power of stillness, without Shimura, there would be no Godzilla". Godzilla trusted and respected Shimura a great deal, looked up to him like a big brother. So when Shimura's wife was throwing him a birthday party, she invited both Mifune and Godzilla. Unbeknownst to her, the results would have far reaching affects.

Mifune showed up to the party with his young niece , Momoko, a 16 year old girl visiting Tokyo for the first time. Godzilla on the other hand, showed up with only an oil tanker of whiskey in his belly. Shimura introduced Mifune and Godzilla, and the three men spent a few moments talking about acting and art, and the brilliance of Kurosawa. Mifune then introduced his niece Momoko to Godzilla, she was a big fan and was awe-struck at meeting him. Then after the conversation they went their separate ways and mingled throughout the party. Shimura was pleased that his two good friends, who were seemingly rivals, could bury the hatchet and at least be civil to one another. 

Then it happened. How it started, no one knows for sure, all that is really known is that Mifune went to the back yard to get some air. Upon taking in Shimura's beautiful view, he noticed something that shocked and horrified him. Godzilla was being sexually satisfied, in public, by Mifune's naked young niece, Momoko, down by the waterside.

Mifune exploded into a violent rage, one that matched Godzilla in it's ferocity and intensity. He ran down to the waterside with a Samurai's war cry. Shimura and the rest of the party-goers ran outside to see what the racket was all about. They got there just in time to see Mifune pull a Samurai sword from his belt and draw upon Godzilla. Godzilla was lost in the ecstasy of the moment and did not hear Mifune's war cry. He did feel Mifune's sword pierce his big toe though, and let out a yell that knocked over several beach front houses.

Mifune fighting for Momoko's honor.

Mifune fighting for Momoko's honor.

Mifune then covered his niece, and advanced upon Godzilla. As Godzilla described the event, "I was in no mood for Mifune's bullshit. If he wanted to go, then I figured... let's go." The two actors fought for only a few moments before Shimura had reached them and separated them. Mifune was left with two black eyes, broken ribs and third degree burns on his arms. Godzilla was left with an infected big toe and a nasty hangover.

While Mifune may have lost the fight, he won the respect of his fellow party-goers including Shimura. Mifune had fought with courage and honor. The same could not be said of Godzilla. Shimura was so outraged with Godzilla's behavior toward the young girl and Mifune, that he refused to speak to him ever again. When Godzilla awoke the next morning, he realized the gigantic mistake he had made. He tried to reach out to Shimura, but Shimura refused to see or speak to him.

Godzilla and Mifune would become the two great Japanese actors, not only of their time, but of all time, but they remained the fiercest and bitterest of rivals for the remainder of their careers.  Mifune could never forgive Godzilla for what he had done, and Godzilla could not live it down, it has haunted him and his career ever since.

Tyrannosaurus Rex & Steven Spielberg

T-Rex and Spielberg, a Monster Ego and an Ego Monster.

T-Rex and Spielberg, a Monster Ego and an Ego Monster.

 In 1918, Tyrannosaurus Rex, or T-Rex as he came to be known, acted in his first film, the forgettable "Ghost of Slumber Mountain". The film may have been forgettable, but T-Rex was not, and he has been working steadily in both film and television ever since his debut.

Kong and T-Rex, the early days.

Kong and T-Rex, the early days.

T-Rex became known in the industry as a solid but not stellar, working actor. He won a Best Supporting Monster Oscar for his work in the 1933 film "King Kong". During the filming of "King Kong", the film's star, King Kong and T-Rex struck up a great friendship. They have remained the best of friends through good times and bad.

Godzilla has never worked with T-Rex, and has said he never will. Kong's friendship with T-Rex may be part of the reason why Kong and Godzilla got along so poorly. Godzilla was called a "Japanese T-Rex" by the American press during the "Godzilla: King of All Monsters" publicity tour. He responded by saying, "See that name on the top of the marquee? It says 'Godzilla'! Ain't no movies named 'T-Rex'."  Kong remembered this slight against his friend and it colored his opinion of Godzilla before they ever even met.

While T-Rex has never publicly said so, it was commonly believed that he was resentful if not outright jealous of Godzilla. Godzilla's star had grown larger than T-Rex could ever hope to imagine, and for an old pro like Rex, that must have hurt. But in the early 1990's, things would take a strange twist, and for the first time, Godzilla would find himself on the outside looking in.

Minilla, the definition of adorable.

Minilla, the definition of adorable.

The story actually began in 1966 when Godzilla found out he had become a father for the first time. His son was named Minilla, and the mother's identity has never been revealed, although rumor has it that she was an underage sex worker from an unknown Pacific island.  Not surprisingly, Godzilla did not take well to fatherhood at first. His partying lifestyle being cramped by the responsibility for taking care of an infant grew tiresome, but Godzilla did it anyway. Soon, Minilla was the apple of his father's eye. Godzilla asked his friend Marlon Brando to be Godfather to his son, and Brando gladly accepted. 

Godzilla's life was changing, he was growing up. A year later, in 1967, Godzilla decided it was time for his son to get into the movie business. Minilla was cast as Son of Godzilla in the creatively titled, "Son of Godzilla". Minilla became a sensation. He was cute, adorable, charming and charismatic. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree as they say. A mini-star was born. He was nominated for Best Supporting Kaiju that year, but lost out to Mothra in a very controversial and hotly debated decision.

Father and Son party hard on Monster Island

Father and Son party hard on Monster Island

Minilla would go on to co-star with his father in multiple films, "Destroy All Monsters" in 1968, "All Monsters Attack" in 1969 and "Godzilla vs. Gigan" in 1972. He won Best Supporting Kaiju for 'Monsters Attack' and 'Gigan'. He was on the top of the acting world in 1973, when he decided to take a break from acting and attend Princeton University. He majored in English Literature with a minor in Comparative Religion. He graduated in 1978 and returned home to Monster Island ready for his next adventure in life, but the world he returned to was a different world from the one he left.

Godzilla acting opposite himself in his masterwork "Godzilla vs. MechaGodzilla". He won an unprecedented Best Kaiju and Best Supporting Kaiju for his work.

Godzilla acting opposite himself in his masterwork "Godzilla vs. MechaGodzilla". He won an unprecedented Best Kaiju and Best Supporting Kaiju for his work.

Godzilla's career had taken a turn. During the 50's, 60's and 70's, Godzilla had reigned supreme at the box office, but by the late 1970's, things had fallen off. Many attribute the change in demand for Godzilla to the rumors of rampant cocaine use on Monster Island. Godzilla had fallen back to his old partying ways while his son was at Princeton. Oddly enough, Godzilla's acting work had never suffered during this alleged partying. He won back-to-back Best Kaiju for his starring roles in "Godzilla vs. MechaGodzilla" (1974) and "Terror of MechaGodzilla" (1975), and also won Best Supporting Kaiju in those same films for playing opposite himself as MechaGodzilla. While the films were not considered superior, his work in them certainly was. It was a stroke of genius to have Godzilla play against the only other actor who could stand toe to toe with him…Godzilla! So Godzilla put on a suit of armor and through the use of technology acted against himself. Sadly, Eddie Murphy used the same idea years later in the "Nutty Professor" films. 

After the grueling work of acting with himself, Godzilla took a much needed break from filmmaking. But then something odd happened, when he was ready to return, no offers came his way. Disco had become the "in" thing, and Godzilla was considered "out". Pop culture is a fickle bitch. Since there was no work for Godzilla, there was also no work for Minilla.

Then there was a break, a bit of luck. Godzilla met Steven Spielberg at Jack Nicholson's house during his annual Bastille Day party. Godzilla cornered Spielberg and the two talked for hours, striking up a friendship. Spielberg told Godzilla he was currently trying to cast the title role in a film he was directing, but couldn't find the right actor. Godzilla immediately pitched his son Minilla for the part. Spielberg thought it over and asked if Minilla would come in for a screen test. What happened next is up for debate, but when it was all over, neither Godzilla, Minilla, or Spielberg ever would be the same.

Godzilla's version of events is that Minilla went into the screen test, nailed it, and Spielberg offered him the part, right on the spot. Minilla accepted and called his father with the good news. Spielberg's version is very different. Speiberg claims that Minilla showed up to the screen test two hours late, and was obviously high on something. He shot the test, but was horrible and Spielberg simply thanked him for coming in and left it at that.

Spielberg and E.T., rumors of a homosexual affair between the two have swirled for years, although Spielberg denies them. This picture isn't helping his case.

Spielberg and E.T., rumors of a homosexual affair between the two have swirled for years, although Spielberg denies them. This picture isn't helping his case.

As Godzilla and Minilla celebrated on Monster Island, Spielberg was announcing the casting of the lead for his new film. The actor he cast was E.T., a total unknown, the film was "E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial". E.T. wouldn't remain unknown for long. The film went on to become one of the biggest hits of all time. Godzilla erupted with fierce anger against Spielberg. In a blinding rage, he told the Hollywood Reporter that Spielberg "was racist against Minilla because he was Asian and not a Jew", and that Spielberg "only cast Jews, they look out for their own kind." The Jewish community was horrified, and the AGL, the Anti-Godzilla League was formed. It's first act of business was to correctly call out Godzilla for his anti-semitism, and secondly to also pointed out that E.T. was in fact, not a Jew but a Presbyterian.

The damage had been done. Godzilla, the actor who felt he had suffered because of anti-Asian racism, was now seen as anti-Semitic, and no one wanted to work with someone so associated with that sort of ugliness. Minilla was painted with the same brush as well.

In 1984, Godzilla tried a comeback, he starred in the film "Return of Godzilla". It was wishful thinking. The reviews were dismal. The box office even worse. Godzilla had become a B-level actor virtually over night. This was the bad time, but unbeknownst to Godzilla, things would actually get worse.

T-Rex finally on top of Hollywood and the world.

T-Rex finally on top of Hollywood and the world.

In 1992, ten years after 'E.T.' became a household name and a billionaire, Steven Spielberg was at it again, this time making a film adaption of the Michael Crichton novel "Jurrasic Park". Spielberg needed a monster to headline the film. Someone who could act, but also put asses in the seats and  sell tickets. As production started on the film he still hand't found his monster, and his leading lady Laura Dern approached him with an idea. Laura Dern was Bruce Dern's daughter. Bruce Dern was a Hollywood legend, an old school actor from the 60's and 70's. He was good friends with Marlon Brando, and in turn was also good friends with Godzilla. In fact, Laura Dern considered Godzilla to be an uncle. So, at her uncles behest, she asked Spielberg to consider casting Godzilla. Spielberg thought long and hard about it, and thirty seconds later he cast T-Rex, Godzilla's nemesis. Spielberg and the AGL had never received an apology from Godzilla, so with no apology, forgiveness was impossible.

OUT & PROUD: Barney, T-Rex's flamboyantly gay son, became a superstar with his own TV show, "Barney and Friends".

OUT & PROUD: Barney, T-Rex's flamboyantly gay son, became a superstar with his own TV show, "Barney and Friends".

As if things couldn't get even worse, T-Rex's son, Barney, had just booked his own TV show, "Barney and Friends", that same year. Godzilla stepped in it again when he told Variety that he thought a "fruitcake like Barney shouldn't be allowed near kids". The gay community erupted in outrage and came to Barney's defense. What made this offense even more egregious is that prior to it, Godzilla, unbeknownst to him, had a huge fan base in the gay community. Godzilla's hateful remarks toward Barney ended up pushing the gay community not only away from Godzilla, but toward Barney. Barney said in response to the Godzilla verbal attack, "I may be a Tyrannosaurus Rex, but Godzilla is the dinosaur ". "Barney and Friends" became a smash hit, making Barney a huge superstar overnight. "Jurrassic Park" went on the break box office records, the greatest success of T-Rex's long career. That same year T-Rex won a his first Best Monster Oscar and Barney won an Emmy. Godzilla was on the outside of Hollywood looking in, with Gays and Jews and Gay Jews all allied against him and things didn't look like they'd get better anytime soon. 

 

Marlon Brando

As we've explored previously, Brando and Godzilla were the best of friends, but there was a time when there was a split in their friendship. In the late 1990's, Godzilla was suffering from massive depression, which he medicated by ingesting heroic amounts of alcohol. His career was a shadow of its former self. His first son, Minilla (not to be confused with Baby Godzilla, his second son from another woman, the French actress, Bridget Bardot), had left the acting industry and opened an Import/Export business in San Francisco. Godzilla's Monster Island paradise had turned into his prison. He had lost his passion for acting and for life. He was alone and desperate.

Then Matthew Broderick came calling. Broderick had gotten Godzilla's number from Brando, the two of them had worked together on the film "The Freshman" a few years before. In the film, Brando spoofed his Oscar winning performance as Don Corleone in "The Godfather". Broderick was interested in doing an American version of Godzilla, and wanted to reach out to Godzilla. 

Ferris Bueller - philosopher.

Ferris Bueller - philosopher.

When Godzilla heard from Broderick he had no idea who he was. Broderick explained he had starred in "Ferris Bueller's Day Off". Godzilla still had no idea who he was. Godzilla didn't care though, he was desperate. He did do one thing though before signing onto the film. He called his old friend Brando and asked him about this Bueller kid. Was he alright? Could the kid act? No one knows why he did it, maybe he was delirious, maybe he didn't hear the question, who knows, but Brando vouched for Broderick to Godzilla. Godzilla signed up to do the film.

Director Roland Emmerich had a specific vision for the film, he wanted Godzilla to be a lean, mean, fighting machine. Godzilla had to quit drinking, lose weight and get in shape. He had to commit. Godzilla knew it was now or never for his career, he had to put in the work, no more star turns, no more laziness, no more being coddled. Godzilla vowed to change his shape, to reinvent himself not just for American audiences but for the world. If he could pull it off, he could be back on top.

During Godzilla's absence from the top of the heap, T-Rex had run amok, he had starred in three 'Jurassic Park' movies and had the hardware (three Best Monster Oscars) and the bank account to show for it. His son Barney was also still king of the TV hill.  Godzilla used that as fuel to light his fire. He worked hard, trained hard and came onto set in the best shape of life. Rumors were also rampant that he had extensive plastic surgery, but Godzilla has always denied this.

Godzilla humiliates himself by looking T-Rex-ish.

Godzilla humiliates himself by looking T-Rex-ish.

Filming started and things immediately went sour. Godzilla constantly referred to Broderick as Bueller, which upset Broderick no end. Godzilla also clashed with Emmerich, who kept directing Godzilla to be "more T-Rex-ish". Godzilla, Broderick and Emmerich clashed for months.  After a late night shoot where Godzilla and Broderick shot a complex sequence in Madison Square Garden, frustrations boiled over, and Godzilla made some very disparaging remarks about Broderick's wife, Sarah Jessica Parker, referring to her as "Sugar-tits" and calling her a "horse faced slut", which left Broderick in tears and women's groups outraged. Godzilla then got drunk and called Brando, cursing him out for vouching "for 'Bueller', that no talent little prick." Brando and Godzilla did not speak for years after that call. Both men too proud to ask for forgiveness for the damage they had done(thankfully they reunited a year before Brando's death). The N.O.W.A.G. was formed (The National Organization of Woman Against Godzilla) and began a campaign against Godzilla, both the actor and the film. Gays, Jews, and Women all boycotted the film and rallied against it.

Kong back on top of the business, and in love with his leading lady…AGAIN. This time the beautiful and talented Naomi Watts.

Kong back on top of the business, and in love with his leading lady…AGAIN. This time the beautiful and talented Naomi Watts.

The film "Godzilla" came out in 1998, and was panned by critics and flopped at the box office. To make matters even worse, many reviewers pointed out that Godzilla had tried to make himself into T-Rex for the film. This stung Godzilla to the core, and sent him spiraling into a dangerous depression. He locked himself away on Monster Island, stewing in his anger.  His anger only increased when in 2005, his old rival, King Kong made another comeback with his film, "King Kong". Kong became the darling of Hollywood once again, and co-starring along with Kong was his old friend T-Rex, and his oldest son, D-Rex. Kong and Rex made no attempt to hide their glee at their success, and Godzilla's failure, openly talking about how they were "the two biggest stars in the history of Hollywood". Godzilla was not only losing at the game of life, he was being wiped from the history books.

DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK…wait…actually…YES, GO AHEAD AND CALL IT A COMEBACK

Nine years after Kong and T-Rex rode atop the box office and rubbed his nose in it, and sixteen years after the humiliation of "Godzilla" (1998), Godzilla is back. It all started when he made a face to face apology to Steven Spielberg and the AGL for his anti-semitic remarks. They graciously accepted his apology and his promise to work across the globe fighting against the scourge of anti-Semitism. Another major event that led to a Godzilla transformation, was that his son Minilla came out of the closet. Minilla announced on January 1, 2011, that he and his lover Barney, yes, THAT Barney, were to be wed in a small ceremony at the San Francisco courthouse. Once his son told him he was gay, Godzilla saw things in a different light and apologized to the gay community and to Barney for his venomous words back in the day. Godzilla even confessed to a drunken, late-night, homosexual dalliance of his own back in the late fifties with his "Godzilla: King of All Monsters" co-star Raymond Burr. His apology was accepted and he promised to fight for Gay civil rights across the globe. Finally, Godzilla apologized to Sarah Jessica Parker, but not her husband, whom he still detests. He wrote a lengthy piece in Vanity Fair describing the deep shame he felt for having verbally attacked such a "lovely and talented young lady". Rumors began to swirl almost immediately that the two were sleeping together, these rumors have never been officially denied, and are most likely, entirely true. The N.O.W.A.G. was disbanded at Ms. Parker's request, and Godzilla seems to have put his troubles behind him.

Hollywood then came calling. "Godzilla" (2014) is the symbol of an actor re-born. The film is awful, but none can doubt that Godzilla is magnificent. Godzilla is back to his old city destroying ways(he even demanded that San Francisco be the location for the shoot so he could be near Minilla and Barney), kicking ass and taking names. He is assured of a Best Kaiju nomination, and has already seen a major boost to his once moribund bank account. The film "Godzilla" (2014) has had such a successful first weekend box office, not one but two sequels have already been green lit. Meanwhile, a King Kong film is probably a long way away, if history is any measure, they won't make another one for twenty more years or so. T-Rex is reduced to making "Land of the Lost" and other such junk, relegating him to second class status as far as monsters go. But Godzilla? He's back…because he's not only an actor, an artist, a star, an icon and a legend…he's a survivor. As Godzilla is fond of saying, "I survived Hiroshima, I'll survive Hollywood." And, right now, he's doing more than surviving…he's thriving.

I'M BACK BABY!!!

I'M BACK BABY!!!