KISS - Staples Center: A Review

KISS - STAPLES CENTER - MARCH 4, 2020

On Wednesday March 4th, 2020, I risked life, limb and soul as I ventured out to the Staples Center despite a potential Coronavirus outbreak, in order to see Knights in Satan’s Service…aka KISS.

Kiss, those old 70’s rock warhorses, which boast the current configuration of Gene Simmons (bass, vocals), Paul Stanley (lead vocals guitar), Tommy Thayer (lead guitar) and Eric Singer (drums, vocals), are on their supposedly “final” tour titled The End of the Road World Tour. For a variety of reasons, included among them that I have never seen Kiss live, I decided to indulge in some rock and roll nostalgia and check them out.

I am not what you would call a “Kiss fan”. When I was a little kid Kiss were definitely a thing and back then in an attempt to be cool I did indeed buy my first and last Kiss album, Kiss Alive, but despite my best attempts coolness has eluded my whole life…as has Kiss fandom.

Unlike other kids I was never a member of the Kiss Army and didn’t have Kiss memorabilia or action figures or anything. In fact, my childhood interaction with Kiss was so short-lived that I don’t think I could name more than a handful of their songs even today.

I never even considered seeing Kiss until last year at a Waterboys show, the keyboardist, Brother Paul, mentioned he was a huge Kiss fan and everybody in the alternative friendly crowd mockingly laughed. Being the contrarian I am, this put the bug in my brain to maybe go see Kiss.

When I saw that Kiss were coming to the Staples Center I looked at ticket prices and they were a bit pricey for me so I lost interest. Then a few months later I looked again and sure enough prices had dropped and I found a solid deal for a very good seat. I was still hesitant to pull the trigger though…but when I saw that the opening act was going to be none other than Diamond David Lee Roth…and I knew I had to attend.

Let me explain…when I was a kid I wanted to be David Lee Roth when I grew up. Dave was fronting Van Halen at the time and was the epitome of the dangerous rock and roll star, chicks dug him and dudes wanted to be him. I loved Dave so much I used to wear jock straps on the outside of my spandex pants (when I wasn’t wearing assless chaps) and would do flying split kicks off of any elevated platform I could find.

When I grew a bit older, my Dave fandom morphed as my best friend, the inimitable Keith Hertell, and I would drink copious amounts of Jack Daniels and he would bust out his guitar and keyboards and we would have an impromptu Van Halen inspired jam session. To be clear, our jam sessions, and my fandom, were only attached to Van Halen, never to the abomination that was Van Hagar.

Besides being the Eddie Van Halen to my Diamond Dave, Keith was also a highly decorated member of the Kiss Army from his early childhood. Kiss was Keith’s first love and the band were indelibly imprinted upon his brain at a young age. If rock and roll is religion, then Keith’s denomination was most definitely Kiss.

Keith Hertell was an extraordinary human being in every respect. He was an actor (infinitely more talented than I could ever hope to be), musician and comedian of astounding natural ability…and most importantly he was one of the most kindhearted and funniest people you could ever hope to meet. When I first encountered Keith it was at an audition for a comedy troupe of which he was already a member. We improvised a scene together and became fast friends. We worked in that comedy troupe for a few years and then ventured out into the “real world” as best friends and creative partners who would write and perform together.

Even though Keith enjoyed partying, to his undying credit he remained a steadfast friend and support to me when I went through some very serious substance abuse issues and got sober. In order to commit to my sobriety i had to jettison some long time friends from my life…but not Keith, who remained a constant and crucial part of my existence.

Tragically, in April of 1997 Keith was killed in a horrific crash in Titusville, Florida when the vehicle he was riding in was hit head-on, in broad daylight, by a driver driving on the wrong side of the road. At the time of his death, Keith and I we were working together at a soul-sucking office job to make ends meet. He took a few days off and went away for a weekend to attend a wedding. He returned in a casket.

To the people that loved him, Keith’s sudden death was a life-altering trauma. We were like the dinosaurs and his death was the meteor hitting the earth that blotted out our sun. We all barely survived the impact, but with the warmth of the sun removed from our sky we were doomed from that day forward to monotonously walk our cold and dying earth in perpetual darkness until our own inevitable demise. My own grief over Keith’s death has been like an iron cross I’ve carried for the last 23 years, and has, on many occasions, weighed me down nearly to the point of suffocation.

Which brings me back to Kiss and David Lee Roth. When I saw that Diamond Dave was opening for Kiss on their supposedly final tour, it felt like a sign from the gods of rock and roll. I simply knew I had to go to the show as an homage to my dear friend, creative collaborator and faithful Kiss Army member, Keith Hertell. So that is exactly what I did.

Thankfully I was able to snatch up a very good seat, in a VIP section no less, for the very affordable price of $55, and found a very easy and cheap public transportation option to get me there too…so off I went.

I have been to the Staples Center before for basketball games and fights, but never for a concert. As I walked toward the entrance of the arena, among the ticket holders and various t-shirt and food vendors, there was a very crazy sweaty man, probably homeless, frantically walking in a wide circle singing Van Halen’s “You Really Got Me” at the top of his lungs. I thought of Keith and I and our drunken rock and roll ramblings of yesteryear and chuckled as concert goers gave a wide berth to this crazy man who seemed completely detached from reality.

Which brings us to David Lee Roth. Diamond Dave took the stage at exactly 7:29 pm when his band kicked into…you guessed it…“You Really Got Me” and it felt like deja-vu all over again from the lunatic outside the arena.

I have seen Dave perform solo a handful of times and with Van Halen once. He used to be really good. His voice was never great, but unique and entertaining, and he was a commanding stage presence and consummate showman. Oh how the mighty have fallen.

Roth’s charisma and front man prowess have eroded to a stunning degree as he is now reduced to mugging and clowning for the crowd with an impenetrable smile implanted on his face. For the majority of the set Diamond Dave seemed like an old lady wandering around a parking lot looking for a cardboard box to live in.

There seems to be something genuinely wrong with Dave at this point. The implanted perma-smile, and the slapping himself in the face - which he did multiple times, are bizarre to the point of alarming. On the bright side, at least the tight 40 minute set was devoid of his usual signature ramblings and rants.

As for the music, Dave’s backing band is terrific, but Dave feels like a vagrant loitering in their set as opposed to being the main attraction. Roth barely even pretends to sing anymore but instead lets his backing band cover most of those duties. When he does attempt to sing it is a train wreck. His phrasing is atrocious, breath control non-existent and he actually sounds like he is tone deaf. He also appears to be trying to transition from being a natural baritone to being a very unnatural tenor, a Herculean undertaking even under the best circumstances, but as a 65 year old man-child, impossibly delusional.

Roth’s vocal impotence was only heightened exactly 35 minutes after he left the stage when 68 year old Kiss front man Paul Stanley arrived on the scene showing off his still impressively powerful voice. Even Stanley’s speaking voice is stronger and clearer than Roth’s singing voice at this point.

Kiss hit the stage at exactly 8:45 and proceeded to absolutely destroy the Staples Center with the most glorious rock spectacle imaginable. Their two hour and ten minute set was jam packed with a cavalcade of rock and roll accoutrements like glitter, balloons, flame, explosions, rising stages, guitars shooting fireballs, lasers, fiery pinwheels, spitting blood and fire, rotating cranes and Paul Stanley flying across the tops of the audience…as well as a cornucopia of guitar, drum and bass solos.

This is such a rock show it is almost a parody of a rock show…almost. The musicianship of the band and the hard earned professionalism of Simmons and Stanley overcome the band’s catalogue of often-times middling songs and keep the festivities from ever devolving into self-satire.

Kiss put on an undeniably magnificent show that was…dare I say it…contagiously fun. There are definitely times when Kiss veers towards Spinal Tap territory, but musically they are so good and vocally so impressive that they get away with it. It also helps that the band is both entirely committed to what they are doing and take the music totally seriously, but never quite take themselves too seriously.

Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley are the two founding members still left in the band, and they are definitely running the show.

When Simmons dons his Kiss outfit and make up he stops being the sort-of-ridiculous 70 year-old man that he is, and becomes this…thing….this creature…this archetype. In his full Kiss regalia, Simmons oozes a startling power and charisma that dominates the stage. Simmons transformation is remarkable, and his stage presence, his natural dance movements and his singing voice left me stunned.

Paul Stanley also embodies an archetype when he gets his Kiss gear on, that of some kind of New York devil clown. Stanley has kept himself and his voice in great shape and he takes full advantage of both as he struts and dances across the stage and belts out tunes with aplomb.

Both Simmons and Stanley have been doing this for over forty years and it shows. Stanley immediately connects with the wider audience and effortlessly lures them into the palm of his hand, while Simmons must have pointed to, smiled at, or spoken with nearly every person in the crowd during the performance. Both of them boast a rogueish charm that makes every member of the audience feel as if they are part of the show and friends with the band. It is impressive to behold.

What I found fascinating about Kiss was the psychology on display. The make up they wear is like a mask in Greek Theatre. These masks allow them to play characters that tap into archetypes and unleash a power that they do not possess as regular people.

There is a sequence in which Simmons does a bass solo that segues into the song “God of Thunder”, where Gene is acting this role to perfection. Simmons is expertly doing a mask acting exercise in this sequence, a sort of Kabuki transformation, where he never speaks but mimes his beast like character’s intentions. It is gloriously entertaining and the crowd goes crazy for it.

The makeup is also a brilliant device because it keeps the band relatively young and allows the audience to maintain a certain level of suspension of disbelief. The makeup means the band looks just like they did in the 70’s…making Kiss the ultimate rock and roll avatar for being forever young. It is easier to accept Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley behaving the way they do on stage when you aren’t reminded that they are old enough to collect social security.

The distinctive makeup and the creation of these archetypal alter-egos also gives the possibility that the band Kiss…and the brand Kiss, can live on after the founding members retire or die. The makeup and the band are a brand like a sports team, at some point you aren’t rooting for the individual players but rather just rooting for the laundry.

A perfect example of this was that on my way home from the show while riding on the Metro, I heard two strangers talking about the concert. One guy, who was middle-aged and had seen Kiss many times and was obviously a big fan, thought that the entire original band, including former members Ace Frehley and Peter Criss, had played the show that night. Frehley and Criss haven’t performed with Kiss for years, but you wouldn’t know that by seeing a show because replacements Tommy Thayer and Eric Singer wear the same makeup and outfis that Frehley and Criss once did.

This notion struck me as well during the show when I was so impressed by the band’s vocals, and Simmons and Stanley’s vocals in particular, that I wondered if they had ever used “body doubles” to perform for them. I mean, how would anybody really know? So, say if Gene Simmons retires and someone else steps in…people might not even notice at first.

As for the actual members of Kiss…these guys don’t need any help just yet. Although, I must admit when I heard how good the band’s vocals were my first two thoughts were they were lip syncing or were aided by a backing track. Am I 100% sure that Kiss are doing all of their vocals? To be honest…no I am not. That is not entirely a knock against the band but rather a testament to how unbelievably good they sounded and how brutally cynical I can be.

As terrific as Simmons and Stanley are, guitarist Tommy Thayer and drummer Eric Singer are equally impressive. Thayer is a a dragon slayer on guitar as he plays with a ferocious precision that never falters. Singer is like a clone of Peter Criss as he plays with the same jazz-influenced style and dynamic showmanship. Singer’s vocals are also impressive, as he knocks his version the Criss song “Beth” out of the park.

The audience was a great mix of peoples. On one side of me was a middle-aged mom and her teen son, on the other a trio of twenty something Latinos, and right in front of me a conservative looking couple in their 60’s, all of whom rocked the whole night. The energy of the crowd never lagged and they and the band were into it the entire time.

If this is Kiss’s last tour they are certainly going out with a bang…but I wonder if the success of this tour will make the brain trust of Simmons and Stanley, who are notoriously motivated by money to an absurd degree, reconsider retirement. I’ll say this, I would definitely pay to see them again.

In conclusion, I did not expect much from Kiss but I had so much fun seeing them it is sort of miraculous. I went by myself, didn’t talk to or interact with anyone else, and yet I had a smile etched on my face the entire time. I was absolutely giddy basking in the glow of my live Kiss experience. If you have never seen them, I wholly encourage you to do so. If you go with another person you might have twice the fun I did!

I wasn’t a Kiss fan before…but immediately after seeing their spectacular show at the Staples Center I went down to the local recruiting station and enthusiastically enlisted in the Kiss Army. I ship out for basic training next week and will do all I can to make the world safe once again for 70’s rock. I hope to serve with honor and distinction.

Just as Paul Stanley dedicated the show to Kobe Bryant and those lost in the helicopter crash that killed him, I dedicated my Kiss concert to my friend Keith Hertell. Thankfully, I was at times able to see the show through his eyes, and came to fully understand his undying love of the band. I would like to think that Keith is in the heavens right now in his full Kiss regalia, looking down on me with an abnormally-long tongue extended through a most mischievous smile. I hope I’ve made him proud. I look forward to one day seeing him again…we have a lot to talk about.

SET LIST

Detroit Rock City

Shout It Out Loud

Deuce

Say Yeah

I Love it Loud

Heaven’s on Fire

Tears are Falling

War Machine

Lick It Up

Calling Dr. Love

100,000 Years

Cold Gin

God of Thunder

Psycho Circus

Parasite

Love Gun

I Was Made For Loving You

Black Diamond

ENCORE

Beth

Do You Love Me

Rock and Roll All Nite

©2020