Carry On: A Review - The Movie Equivalent of Airplane Food

****THIS IS A SPOILER FREE REVIEW!! THIS REVIEW CONTAINS ZERO SPOILERS!!****

My Rating: 2 out of 5 stars

My Recommendation: SKIP IT. Nothing to see here. Flaccid formula film with sub-par action – in other words…just more cheap Netflix nonsense.

Carry On, starring Taran Egerton, is a Netflix action thriller where a TSA agent at LAX must thwart an elaborate terror attack on Christmas Eve.

The film, which has a two-hour runtime, premiered on Netflix on December 13th and has been their most watched film since.

I won’t reveal much about the plot of Carry On in order to maintain its thriller’s edge for those interested in seeing it, but the basic premise is that Ethan Kopek (Egerton) is a police academy dropout and middling TSA agent. After finding out on Christmas Eve that his girlfriend Nora (Sofia Carson) is pregnant, he decides to dedicate himself to his job and prove his worth.

Unfortunately for Ethan, Christmas Eve is one of the busiest travels of the year and it’s also the day a mysterious bunch of terrorists have a big terror attack planned which includes using a TSA agent as an unwilling pawn.

The film, which is directed by Jaume Collet-Serra, is meant to be a sort of clever twist on the original Die Hard formula – remember Die Hard is a Christmas movie too, but trust me when I tell you that Carry On is no Die Hard. In fact, Carry On couldn’t carry Die Hard‘s ample jock strap.

Carry On attempts to be an action thriller but is undermined by the fact that the action is repeatedly passe and the thrills decidedly muted.

For example, there’s one big action sequence in a car where Wham’s iconic hit Last Christmas plays that I am sure the filmmakers thought was so original, amazing and awesome, but which I found visually dull and dramatically flaccid.

The thriller angle to Carry On is thwarted because the movie just isn’t taut enough, it is a bit too preposterous and a bit too flabby around the gut.

Director Collet-Serra’s last film was the god-awful Dwayne Johnson super hero vehicle Black Adam, and Carry On has a similar whiff of poor direction to it as that movie. Everything in the film is never quite good enough or interesting enough or well-executed enough. It’s just a serious of sub-par sequences that add up to an entirely forgettable movie.

Taron Egerton has been injected into our lives as a “movie star”, or at the very least a “potential movie star”, but frankly, I don’t see it just yet. He’s certainly ambitious but his ambition far outweighs his charisma and/or charm.

As Ethan, Egerton reminds me of Sam Worthington, another guy who they tried to make a star but who just wasn’t up to it. Worthington, who has gone on to star in the Avatar films, was shoved down our throats for a few years, but after repeated failures settled into the Avatar gig. Worthington took a different track than Egerton and ultimately found a home as a CGI lead actor. Egerton, on the other hand, has tried to be a movie star and an award worthy actor but he is neither, as he is both a bit wooden and a bit too histrionic for either assignment.

Jason Bateman plays one of the bad guys and he is just…fine. Bad Bateman is definitely the best Bateman and yet his character is never fully utilized in a way that would let him truly shine or even steal the film, something of which he is entirely capable.

Ethan’s girlfriend, Nora, is played by Sofia Carson and she is not particularly good in a very poorly written part.

The rest of the other performances are cringe-worthy attempts. There’s the hip-hop TSA agent, there’s the tough as nails LAP detective, there’s the nice guy best friend, the bad guy boss, the gay guy, the other gay guy and all the rest and none of them seem remotely real or interesting.

The most frustrating thing about Carry On is that there really is a kernel of a terrific movie hidden underneath all the nonsense. The premise of a TSA agent dealing with a very smart and savvy terror group during the Christmas season has great potential…which is why Die Hard is so iconic.

But Carry On fails to fully flesh out its premise and use it to cinematic and dramatic ends. The potential of Carry On dies on the vine because director Collet-Serra simply lacks the skill, talent, craftsmanship and vision to make it anything more than, at best, a derivative piece of empty Netflix calories.

If you like waiting around at the airport for two-hours for your delayed flight to Dayton to come in, then Carry On is the movie for you. If you like precise thrillers filled with clever, heart-pounding action, then you should check your luggage because Carry On is not the route you wanna go.

The bottom line is that Carry On is a throwaway piece of moviemaking that never fails to underwhelm. If you want to enjoy your holiday season…skip Carry On.

On that joyous note I want to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas!!

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