Academy Awards Round-Up

A few notes about last night’s Oscar ceremony.

THE GOOD

First off, I won my Oscar pool…AGAIN. I got 19 out of 23 right. This continues my winning streak to an astonishing 36 years in a row. My goal from this point forward is to go undefeated in Oscar pools until I die…unfortunately that goal is very attainable considering the clock is ticking louder and louder until check out time for me.

Emma Stone winning Best Actress over the presumed favorite Lily Gladstone was a moment that had me cheering. I have no ill will towards Lily Gladstone, but the more I saw of her performance in Killers of the Flower Moon, the less I thought of it.

I did find it grating though that she seemed to be the front runner only because she was Native American and the Academy is addicted to all things Diversity, Equity and Inclusion. I assumed she’d win for that exact reason.

I was glad to be wrong because Emma Stone’s performance in Poor Things is utterly astonishing. It is one of the best performances in film in the last 25 years, if not longer. It is all-time great.

Considering that Stone is only 35 and already has two Best Actress Oscars, and frankly, should have a Best Supporting Actress one too for her work in The Favourite, reveals her to be the greatest actress of her generation.

She is also the type of actress who will continue to work and be effective past Hollywood’s usual due date regarding beautiful women…which is refreshing and exciting. I feel blessed to be alive to witness her rise to the throne of American movies.

Another moment that had me cheering was Jonathan Glazer’s acceptance speech when his film The Zone of Interest won Best International Feature.

Here is Glazer’s speech in full. He spoke nervously, but courageously.

“All our choices were made to reflect and confront us in the present — not to say, “Look what they did then,” rather, “Look what we do now.” Our film shows where dehumanization leads, at its worst. It shaped all of our past and present. Right now we stand here as men who refute their Jewishness and the Holocaust being hijacked by an occupation, which has led to conflict for so many innocent people. Whether the victims of October the — [Applause.] Whether the victims of October the 7th in Israel or the ongoing attack on Gaza, all the victims of this dehumanization, how do we resist? [Applause.] Aleksandra Bystroń-Kołodziejczyk, the girl who glows in the film, as she did in life, chose to. I dedicate this to her memory and her resistance. Thank you.”

Glazer said what needed to be said…and I would have encouraged him to go even farther. But regardless, it took real balls to speak up in that room among many powerful Hollywood people who would despise what he had to say. Good for him.

Speaking of cheering, Ryan Gosling was runner-up to Robert Downey Jr. in the Best Supporting Actor race, but there is no doubt he won Oscar night last night…all of it.

Gosling’s performance of “I’m Just Ken”, that gloriously insidious ear worm from Barbie, was the highlight of the evening and in recent Oscar history.

Added to that, Gosling and Emily Blunt had a genuinely funny back and forth about Barbie versus Oppenheimer that was the comedic height of the night.

Gosling is going to win an Oscar (and maybe already should have) someday and a big reason why is that he charmed the pants off of the Academy last night. These people remember that sort of thing and try to reward it.

Speaking of rewards, John Mulaney, a comedian I am at best lukewarm on, presented the Oscar for Best Sound and did a stellar bit about Field of Dreams. I can almost guarantee that he is offered the hosting gig next year or the next few years.

I was pleased that Oppenheimer had a good night, and that Poor Things and even The Zone of Interest did too. Those were easily the three best movies of the year, so it is fitting they got the lions share of the awards.

I was equally pleased that The Boy and the Heron by Hayao Miyazaki won Best Animated Film, and that Godzilla Minus One won Best Effects. Miyazaki and Godzilla are my favorite Japanese imports!!

I admit I was pleasantly surprised that Barbie did not get any awards (besides best song – which wasn’t “I am Ken” oddly enough). Ryan Gosling aside, Barbie was a shitty movie. Poor Things was Barbie but smarter and better made.

I also have to admit that I was pleased that Killers of the Flower Moon did not receive a single award. I love Martin Scorsese. He is a Mount Rushmore filmmaker for me…but Killers of the Flower Moon is a mess of a movie. I’ve seen and heard people call it a “masterpiece” which is ridiculous. Anyone calling Killers of the Flower Moon a masterpiece is revealing themselves to be a fool and philistine.

Overall, the greatest thing about the show was that it started an hour early and dupes and dopes like me who live in fly over country could watch the festivities and not get to bed at some ungodly hour.

THE BAD

I have to say I just don’t get Jimmy Kimmel, and frankly never have. I know he has a late-night show, one which I’ve never seen, and used to host The Man Show, which I’ve never seen either.

Kimmel seemed to verbally stumble over his delivery of jokes all evening, which only added to the issues with the third-rate shlock he was trying to sell. I don’t care if a comedian is “offensive” or “edgy” or anything like that – in fact I prefer it…but I do care when they suck at what they do. And Kimmel sucks at what he does.

Speaking of something that sucks, the memorial segment once again was idiotic and poorly designed. The Academy fucks this thing up every year and every year it annoys me and astounds me.

This isn’t hard. Don’t have dancers and some string quartet playing IN FRONT of the screen showing the people who died because then you can’t see the names of THE PEOPLE WHO DIED. Just show a video montage with music playing over it. Problem solved. Fucking idiots.

Speaking of idiots…who thought it was a good idea to have an 83-year-old Al Pacino, giving out the Best Picture award at the end of the night?

Pacino has famously recounted the first time he went to the Oscars in the 70’s and he was stoned out of his mind and was glad he didn’t win because he didn’t think he could walk to the stage. I think the stoned Pacino from the 70s would’ve done a better job that octogenarian Pacino did last night.

Pacino looked like he was just roused from a deep sleep in a nursing home and pushed onto the stage with an envelope in his hands. I love Al Pacino, but I don’t need him doing vital work at any show, be it awards or otherwise.

Speaking of things that died, Melissa McCarthy and Octavia Spencer presented an award and attempted a comedy routine and it was like watching bowel surgery. Good lord this was excruciatingly not funny. Melissa McCarthy is usually pretty hysterical but holy shit did this bit bomb.

And finally…I am no fashionista, but what the fuck are people thinking when they choose dresses for this show? Da’Vine Joy Randolph is a terrific actress and a very deserving Best Supporting Actress winner last night, but she is a big woman and someone thought they should put her in some stupid puffy mermaid dress that makes her look even bigger. Ariana Grande is a tiny woman but they dressed her in the most buffoonish dress imaginable…she looked like a lap dog that had been thrown in a dyer for three cycles. Anyway, I will never understand why stylists can’t figure this stuff out.

Alright, that’s all I have for my brief thoughts on the 2024 Oscars. The bottom line is this…it could have been worse.

Stay tuned as later this week the greatest awards of all…The Mickeys™ and the Slip-Me-A-Mickey™ will be happening!! See you then!!

©2024